And just when I think things are going to be okay...

It's just so fucking frustrating. Jenn is apparently incapable of spending more than 5 hours in a row with me without needing at least a 20 hour buffer before we spend time together again.

Today was great. It didn't start off great... because she forgot to set her alarm which would have severely cut down the time we would have gotten to spend together today (after her 2 hour walk anyway) but she made up for it by letting me go with her today. In a stroke of luck the battery on my mp3 player died, so we spent the whole morning talking about random shit and walking around the neighborhoods. It was great. If only every day could be like that.

Then this evening I tell her I'll help her carry in all the water she bought. But apparently I wasn't going fast enough because her first instinct is to get pissed off at me for taking so long to get here. I do shit for her all the time that she doesn't even notice much less thank me for. Not that I do it for the recognition. I do it because I like doing nice things for her. What does upset me is when she gets pissed off at me when I try to help her. Which happens repeatedly.

So then I get a look at the schedule. Turns out I'll be off Monday, and Jenn won't have to work at 7 in the morning like she usually does. So I think "great, now I get to hang out with her in the morning and I'll get to sleep over that night." Haha. Think again.

Apparently getting to sleep over means I don't get to see her at all tomorrow. She wants to play sims all day. Not only do I get shoved aside for work, other people, and her own personal time... but now she's taking away our time together so she can play a fucking game? I'm not even asking for a lot. All I want is just to be in the same room as her. I don't need her whole attention... but I'd rather be in the room watching tv or playing video games than sitting at home doing shit wishing I could be with her.

It just hurts that she doesn't even think about this stuff. She's completely satisfied that we only get to spend a few hours a day together. She has no problem knowing she's not going to see me for the next 18 hours. She thinks its okay because we spent the day together and I'll be sleeping there tomorrow... Which makes me feel like I'm supposed to just be there when she wants me to be and then when she doesn't, I'm supposed to just fall off the face of the earth.

How the fuck are we ever going to be able to live together? How the fuck are we going to be able to go on a honeymoon if she can't stand to have me around for more than 5 hours without a break?

It just... it pisses me off and it hurts. And it hurts even more because there's not a fucking thing I can do about it. Because she's probably never going to be as crazy about me as I am about her. That's just my luck. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't even miss me when I'm not around.

Great. Fucking great.

Hey Cheer Up
Shit like this happens in life... Maybe comfront her about the problem??
» Xboyz on 2007-01-07 09:37:37

Well, I was going to say thanks alot for inviting me
And I still am.

I just feel to cheery for such a pissed off post.

But pissed off updates are always a good way to get out your anger, right?

Feel better.
» bananaface on 2007-01-07 11:13:21

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