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The Out Campaign: Scarlet Letter of Atheism
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Frustration
Tuesday. 1.2.07 5:31 pm

God life just sucks right now. Everything is so screwed up and there's nothing I can fucking do about it.

We're so short handed at the front desk that Jenn is still going to be working 7 day weeks. And apparently the girl that used to be working that had to go out on sick leave isn't coming back. So not only do we have to wait another month probably to hire a new person, but it's gonna be another few weeks after that before we can even use them because we'll have to train them.

This busy cycle is already putting a strain on our relationship and now it's probably going to last for another two months. Not that it bothers Jenn in the least. She doesn't seem to be bothered by anything. As long as she gets to take her walks and spend time alone she could care less how little time we get to spend together.

I'm apparently the only one in this relationship who's bothered by the fact that we only get to see each other for a few hours a day. Sometimes not even that. Sometimes we only get to see each other in the half hour transition while we're changing shifts. I'm the only one who's bothered by the fact that, even though we're supposed to be in love and have been together for over a year, we only get to have sex once a fucking month. That's not normal! And it's not like I'm sex crazed or anything. Sex actually means something to me and it would be nice to have sex with the only person that really makes me feel like having sex more than once every 30 fucking days.

It's so fucking frustrating. It hurts and it's pissing me off because I don't know what to do. I love her and I don't want to leave her but at the same time she's pissing me off. It's like our relationship doesn't mean anything to her.

I don't doubt that she enjoys being with me, but most of the time I feel like it doesn't matter to her one way or the other if we're together or not. Even when I'm with her it feels like we're always doing something else or she's thinking about something else. Like she never even gives me a second thought. I know she has a lot on her mind but how can she claim to be in love with me if she barely thinks about me?

I think about her all the time. Even when I'm working. I can't stop thinking about her. I'm crazy about her and most of the time I feel like she just... likes me a lot and that's all. She says she loves me but I'm honestly beginning to wonder just what the hell that means to her. I'd honestly like to know.

2 Comments.


I guess you need to talk to her.. Since figuring someone out isn't easy unless you know that person really really well or that person is an open book. *hugs* Hope things will be alright soon.
» Nuttz on 2007-01-02 08:23:57

Thank you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for sending me the invite code, you have no idea how much I appreciate it. I look forward to the site here and it's okay that it took some time. I was impatient, but only from excitement, not from anything else. Thank you again and I can't wait to get started!
» Tifa on 2007-01-05 04:55:26

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